THE 15 WARNING SIGNS OF AN ABUSER
*Reprinted from Dear Abby, Universal Press Syndicate
- Pushes for quick involvement: comes on strong, claiming, "I've never felt loved like this by anyone."
- Jealous: calls constantly or visits unexpectedly; checks the mileage on your car.
- Controlling: interrogates you about whom you talked to and where you were; keeps all the money; insists you ask permission to do anything.
- Unrealistic expectations: expects you to be the perfect mate and meet his or her every need.
- Isolation: tries to cut you off from family and friends; accuses people who are your supporters of "causing trouble."
- Blames others: it's always someone else's fault if something goes wrong.
- Makes others responsible for his or her feelings: says, "you make me angry," or 'you're hurting me by not doing what I tell you," instead of "I am angry," or "I feel hurt."
- Hypersensitivity: is easily insulted, claiming hurt feelings.
- Cruelty to animals or children: kills or punishes animals. Expects children to do things beyond their ability (whips a two year old for wetting a diaper).
- "Playful" use of force during sex: enjoys throwing you or holding you down during sex.
- Verbal abuse; constantly criticizes you, calls you ugly names.
- Rigid gender roles: he expects you to serve, obey, stay home or she expects you to work, come home and hand over the paycheck.
- Mood swings: switches from sweet to violent in minutes.
- Battering: admits hitting a mate but insists the partner made him or her do it.
- Threats of violence: says things like, "I'll break your neck," or "I'll kill you," dismissing it with, "everybody talks that way," or " I really didn't mean it."
Dear Abby, Jeanne Phillips, Universal Press Syndicate